Surreal. Anxious. Bionic Woman? Lightheaded. War. Tattoos. It’s time. Drugs. Can’t walk. Can’t drive. Can’t cook. Can’t think. One breast or two. Nipple; no nipple. TRAM. DIEP. No reconstruction. Courage. Time. It’s time. No rest. Sleep. Scars. Physical. Mental. Emotional. Am I still a woman? No time. Vacation. Relax. How? It’s time! It’s time! It’s… [Read more…]
May 9, 2011
My mastectomy is next week. I really thought I was alright with it but it seems like all I have been doing is crying. A part of me wants to just run away and let the cancer just do its thing. I’m tired. I’m just tired. In the midst of all this, I really saw… [Read more…]
May 4, 2011
I’ve been joking with people that I’m going to be The Bionic Woman after my mastectomy…I’m not feeling very bionic at the moment. I really need to stay away from the internet and it’s resulting stories and information on breast cancer. I can’t afford to get depressed or to second-guess my decision. In 15 days,… [Read more…]
April 12, 2011
I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon today. He determined the shape of my breast, measured my kangaroo pouch and then brought up two words: nipple reconstruction. No nipple? The plastic surgeon claims he told me about it but with the way I’ve been lately, it’s possible I completely blocked this part out. Not… [Read more…]
April 5, 2011
Man oh man, is there something I need to get off my chest. I shared this with two people already. One compassionately listened and acknowledged my anxiety. And I think the other person was too scared from what I said to just say, “It will be ok.” Back when my doctor told me the cancer… [Read more…]
March 11, 2011
Ok, first, can I just say I am literally ecstatic! I won’t have to wake up with one breast!! My biggest fear is not going to pass!! Surgery is on May 19 with a 6 week (maximum) recovery. I’ll have new breasts and a flat tummy for the summer and I won’t have to drop… [Read more…]
March 10, 2011
After seeing the above picture on a sister survivor’s website, I’m not doing it. I’m sorry. And I don’t want to hear from people that I have to. I don’t have to do shit and I’m not doing THAT!! Damn it, I’m tired of being chopped the fuck up!! I’m tired of having my body… [Read more…]
March 2, 2011
So, I just came back from the pharmacy and ran into a problem that I’m encountering more and more often: I couldn’t tell if the person was a male or female. This person had a shaved head on the sides, purple and green long hair on top, was short, and had the name Alex…My son… [Read more…]
May 19, 2011
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